DC Cookie

Monday, July 18, 2005

Ghost of the Ex

It didn't end well. Which is VERY unusual for me. I take my relationships and my friendships seriously and it takes a lot for me to intentionally cut ties. I'd like to say I'm close to everyone else I've dated, just not him. I'll spare you the details of our tumultuous on-again, off-again, love affair that finally crashed nose-dive into rocks. There's really no need. He's back with his previous ex, and I'm happily dating good men who open doors, pay for dinner, and call me frequently (they ARE out there, go figure). We've both moved on.

The only reason I even bring this up is, despite the fact that I've asked him civilly not to correspond with me, that we aren't friends, and we really have nothing to talk about, I still get these e-mails from him every once in a while (like I did this week while I was on vacation) that say things like "free slurpees at 7-11, today only, wanna join me for one?" Okay, I know I'm on the bcc line, and he probably just sends those e-mails to everyone in his address book, but can't he just remove me - out of courtesy? It's not like he doesn't know my phone number and my e-mail god forbid there's ever a reason he actually needs to get in touch with me. I don't like seeing his name in my inbox. It brings up pangs of sadness, anger, annoyance, frustration, and the desire to pull out some of my hair. Momentary loss of breath, increased heart beat, clenched teeth, knotted forehead, disappearing smile... Even though the feeling goes away as soon as I hit delete, that overload of negativity sticks with me, and reappears in my dreams.

For the love of god, please stop sending me Starbuck's freebies and info on Ben and Jerry's free scoop day. I am doing just fine without you...

17 Comments:

  • At July 19, 2005 7:55 AM, Blogger A Unique Alias said…

    re: free slurpees

    Dear Tool,

    Please kindly delete me out of your address book and stop sending me e-mails. Seeing this stuff from you is nauseating.

    Enjoy your slurpee,
    DC C

     
  • At July 19, 2005 8:45 AM, Blogger Jinxy said…

    What kind of a douche sends out e-mails to people inviting them out for "Free Slurpees"?

     
  • At July 19, 2005 9:42 AM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said…

    Welcome back, Cookie!!

    And you know what I have to say about that guy... Eff that mess!!

     
  • At July 19, 2005 9:49 AM, Blogger VP of Dior said…

    this guy is clearly a cheap-ass. did he take you to all these free things when you were dating? tsk. tsk.

    it may sound mean, but isn't there a way to block his email? that way you can spare yourself the accerlerated heartrates and hairpulling.

    welcome back:)

     
  • At July 19, 2005 9:59 AM, Blogger Linz said…

    yes. why does this happen? i had a falling out w/ a boyfriend at least 3 years ago and he's one of the few i don't want to exchange niceties with, yet without fail, every year i get a little e-mail wishing me a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc. "Thinking of you.." WHY???

     
  • At July 19, 2005 10:00 AM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    I thought about that. I blocked him on IM and on the text messenger on my cell phone. But I imagine if something 'really' bad ever happened to him or his family and he needed me to know, I would want him to have a way to contact me.

     
  • At July 19, 2005 10:39 AM, Blogger Adam said…

    screw him...i'll talk to girls I dated, but not ex-gf.

     
  • At July 19, 2005 11:09 AM, Blogger roosh said…

    i missed ben&jerry's free scoop day?

     
  • At July 19, 2005 1:23 PM, Blogger The Boy said…

    Well, I think the slurpee thing is cute (if you still liked him). I'd giggle if I got an email like that. It's the thought that counts.

     
  • At July 19, 2005 2:20 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    VERY cute, if it came from someone I actually wanted to talk to...

     
  • At July 19, 2005 4:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks for this post as I now know that I'm not the whole one in this situation. My ex appears and re-appears every so often by email with things like, "I just got a promotion at work today!" and "I just went to a concert last night". It's just these one or two line emails every once in a while after I've made it clear that we cannot be friends. I never respond to his emails but for some reason he always comes back! I guess the only benefit is that he's in MI and I'm here so I don't have to worry about running into him or him inviting me places.

     
  • At July 19, 2005 5:05 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    Tim Foley - I'd share a slurpee with you any day, so long as it's hot out, and you keep your shirt unbuttoned...

     
  • At July 19, 2005 5:08 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    Megan - I honestly think there's a reason behind it. a) he's probably thinking about you sometimes, even if he's involved with someone else, and b) in that twisted way, he imagines you're still there for him to talk to the way he used to. I think you're doing the right thing by not responding. He'll get the hint one day...

     
  • At July 20, 2005 1:12 AM, Blogger Chef Z said…

    Free Slurpees, Starbucks, and Ben & Jerry's? Sounds like a diabolical plot to fatten you up so he doesn't feel as bad about the fact that he's not dating you anymore.
    Just a theory.

     
  • At July 20, 2005 11:47 AM, Blogger Mamma Bear said…

    I'd like to say NEXT...but there are those people who get under your skin like no other. Believe me girl, I know all about that (then he brings his bucked tooth beaver to YOUR co-hosted 4th of July party!) I hate people some days.
    Welcome back :)

     
  • At July 21, 2005 2:42 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    Last week - sorry hon.

     
  • At July 23, 2005 10:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    DC,
    I know everyone's situation is different, but you know that my relationship of 7 years (the last 3 being married) ended with a "Dear John" email while I was in Iraq. I cannot tell you how much pain that caused and how long I lived with it. You met me on my uphill climb from the bottom.
    But it gets better. The pain is always there, but after a while there are so many other things that mean so much more, your focus shifts.
    For many reasons, I still keep in touch with my ex, and it doesn't really hurt anymore. So my suggestion is too keep living your own Cookie style, and before you know it, a slurpee email won't really be such a big deal.

    Miss you,
    K

     

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