DC Cookie

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Cookie Cutler

Ever since the Playaz were nominated for sexiest bloggers of the week, RCR posted some hate (he's the wit-tastic mahatma of my blog world), I saw a picture of her and some of my acquaintances on friendster, and V wrote her book review on the Washingtonienne, I've been absolutely, completely and utterly hooked on Jessica Cutler. I've known about her since her radio show interview on DC 101 this summer, and I can seriously say there's something about this chick that I can't get enough of. First of all, we share the same given name. Jessica means 'God's Grace,' for which JLC and I are clearly the most exemplary role models (with my rampant drinking debauchery and her unrestrained sex-capades, the big man up there is bound to choose us as his martyrs. Is it ironic that my given name is also of Hebrew origin? I digress...). Unless you're a cold-hearted, child-beating, racist, I'm going to like you if your name is Jessica, period.

Put aside the fact that I adore her first name, I wonder what exactly it is that I'm drawn to. Because she's sexy and likes pictures of herself too? Maybe. Because she ass-humped an old guy for money? Not so much. That she's made a name for herself out of talking about it? Hell yes. It boils down to an honest-to-goodness respect that I've developed for her through my innocuous envy. I don't have any remote desire to emulate her lifestyle, but that's exactly the point. I CAN'T do what she's done because I'm shrouded by a protective layer of moral fiber that holds me back. What would make me uncomfortable, she can do six-fold and brush it off to absolute normalcy. Not only that, she has the uncanny ability to make her haters look like grade-school assclowns when she spits back an even saucier, tranquilizing response to their comments. THAT is power, and I'm fascinated.

One can always dream about being something she's not...
Cookie Cutler 2

Jessica, if I ever have the pleasure of making your acquaintance, the first round of X-Rated martinis is on me...

27 Comments:

  • At December 29, 2005 7:46 PM, Blogger Sharkbait said…

    HA, i love the pic...


    And I love that I share the same name with such a wonderful cookie.

    And I am automatically in :-) haha


    Welcome back darling!

     
  • At December 29, 2005 11:29 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    You and photoshop. That is so funny.

    There's something about her that intrigues me too. I call it the Simpson Sister Syndrome. All the flash and gossip convinces us they have talent somehow. Jessica Cutler is not a beauty, but she acted like it. And people started to believe it. I like a woman that can do that. Even though I think Madonna / Britney / Simpson Sisters have no talent, I can appreciate how they work their ass off to prove otherwise. (Uh, still wouldn't buy the album though...)

     
  • At December 30, 2005 12:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I like her because she was authentic about how she felt. She, as they say in the hood, "Kept it realz". But I don't like that she had to pimp her sexuality to gain some attention. Hell, prostitutes can do that on one knee. But if your looking for someone to role play with you, hit me up because I can play a mean Senior level Bush Administration appointee.

    Happy New Yearz Cookie and crew.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 12:47 AM, Blogger Asian Mistress said…

    That pic is hot. It should be your new icon.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 8:29 AM, Blogger A Unique Alias said…

    Damn, Cookie, that's a cute little beaver.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 10:58 AM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said…

    Huge props to whoever photoshopped that photo... loves it.

    And you guys would so get along double-fisting martinis.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:14 AM, Blogger Jinxy said…

    You're clearly insane.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:37 AM, Blogger Crazy Girl City said…

    I love the photoshops you have.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are a filthy woman.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:50 AM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    MEOW! Don't think Charming Fellow minds...

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:55 AM, Blogger Phil said…

    Kathryn - please don't mention "fisting".

     
  • At December 30, 2005 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm calling the cops and the FDA to report this blog.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 12:01 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    What in god's name are you talking about?

     
  • At December 30, 2005 12:26 PM, Blogger Mamma Bear said…

    I can't stand that woman - but LOVE you darling. Welcome back and have a happy new year!

    That picture is too funny ;o)

     
  • At December 30, 2005 1:14 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    Oops! Sol - reveal yourself - you're funny.

    I did have someone call me a drunken slut the other day...

     
  • At December 30, 2005 1:40 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    Oh, I know, taken the way you intended :-)

     
  • At December 30, 2005 2:32 PM, Blogger NotCarrie said…

    I am fascinated by her to, I love how she doesn't hide anything she did. She lays it all out there and isn't ashamed.

    I couldn't have done it, ha, no way...butt sex with old men is a no-no for me.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sol Rosenberg, a Jerky Boys character, who in one prank call complained to the Food and Drug Administration (instead of the Federal Communications Commission) to have Howard Stern removed from the airwaves.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That photoshop pic is HILARIOUS!
    Welcome back and Happy New Year!

     
  • At December 30, 2005 3:43 PM, Blogger Heather B. said…

    Dude, where have you been all my life?

    Did you read her little spread in New York Times Magazine about 6 weeks ago?
    You should check it out.

     
  • At December 30, 2005 5:06 PM, Blogger Asian Mistress said…

    Haha "her spread"

     
  • At December 30, 2005 10:19 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said…

    That's right!

     
  • At December 30, 2005 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Jessica Cutler gets my respect for having endured the Internet version of being burned at the stake, yet still retaining a sense of humor and strong self identity.

    That "flaming" came from blog peepers wanting to vicariously live her life, while being trapped in their own narrow and repressive realities. In truth, they were mad at themselves, not her.

    Bravo Jessica for having the bravery to be your own person - plus sexy, cute and elegant - all at the same time.

     
  • At December 31, 2005 9:55 PM, Blogger A Unique Alias said…

    Fucking people for money != "sexy, cute and elegant." Sorry.

     
  • At December 31, 2005 11:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fucking people for money=marriage

     
  • At January 01, 2006 5:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Give the girl a break. Taking conscience money from guys who used you is a far cry from prostitution. And all the record shows is six lovers - that's not untypical of a high school junior these days. Her only real sin was over-estimating her privacy on the web. None of this justifies the e-flogging she continues to get.

     
  • At February 23, 2007 11:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    After reading an interview of you and othr sex bloggers, there's not question that you have serious psychological problems or low self-esteem. It takes a lot for SEX BLOGGERS to think you're nuts. At least you're honest about the fact that you're literally a prostitute. It's a shame that you can't find a medium between prude and whore because you're cute. To each his own

     

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